Cousin Love Relationships
There are so many weird or unusual relationships in the world, and one of these is cousin-love relationships. Though several ethnicities and countries allow you to marry cousins, it is often uncommon in most families because first cousins are usually taken as siblings.
But, the heart wants what it wants. It is usual for people that sometimes they may develop romantic emotions for their cousins. Most of the time, it is temporary. Why? Because cousins are the closest relations available at that time, one of the cousins may temporarily develop romantic feelings. It is often a rebound from a previous abusive relationship, and what is a better way to console yourself than your cousins?
Cousin love relationships
According to Goswami, if the relationship between cousins is temporary, it is not long-term, and one of them will step out of it soon. Cousin love relationships only thrive if the families are eager enough to accept these relations.
Most of the time, both persons in a relationship are aware that being in such a relationship is not decent. They will eventually feel guilty for their acts, and then they will step back, or one of them will draw himself out. They fear that if their family knows about their relationship, it will lead to breaking the family ties.
Awkwardness in the family:
When cousin couples start to feel anxious and uncomfortable in family gatherings, that is the right time to realize it is better to stay as cousins and not cross a line.
What to do?
- If you are not comfortable with your cousin being in a relationship, communicate with him so that you can end it.
- Don’t end it with a burden on your heart. You can finish it gracefully by telling each other your childhood memories.
- Discuss the consequences and communicate the odds and benefits of being and not being in a relationship.
- Always ask and answer everything. Leaving things unexplained will create curiosity, and as you will face each other often, so things can get complicated.
Nonetheless, some people love each other madly, and they do not specifically care about the consequences. Such people do not care what they are affecting. Instead, they care for themselves and try to be reformists in their respective communities so that they can end such taboos.
Stories of cousins falling in love
According to a journalist, she had a Bengali aunt and uncle. Back in the time, Bengalis considered it an extreme taboo if you marry your cousin. Soon when both aunt and uncle knew that they were in love, they tried to get over their feelings, but they couldn’t.
Soon, both of the families knew about the affair, and they opposed it. After all the conspiracies and tantrums, the families break ties with each other, and the couple was also expelled from their community.
Still, they didn’t care and married each other at all costs after becoming the pioneers for a revolutionary moment to eradicate such taboos and traditional thoughts from societies.
Alex lived in France, and he met her cousin for the first time in August 1996. Both of them clicked, and they knew that they were best for each other even though they didn’t reveal their feelings.
After one year, Alex decided to tell her cousin each and everything about his emotions for her and wanted to have her opinion. We both agreed, she loved me, and I love her even more.
But, the odds were not in our favor, she lived far away in the U.S, and I lived in France. But still, we didn’t give up on our relationship and decided to tell our parents. My parents didn’t react adversely, though they were surprised.
As far as her parents were concerned, they disagreed with our relationship. I wrote them two convincing letters, and finally, they decided on two. But after six months I received a letter from her saying “It’s over between us.”
I felt torn apart. I flew to America to know what was on her mind and why she did this? But she ignored me for the entire four weeks of my stay. I concluded that she is happy without me, and I should not bother or force her to stay with me. At last, I get over my feelings for her.
Cousin marriage in Islam
According to recent modern medical research, we acknowledge that marrying your first cousin is not the best option because first-cousin marriages lead to several childbirth defects in most cases.
So what is the Islamic stance on this? In Islam, there is no prohibition regarding restrictions on cousin marriages. In fact, the Muslim Holy book Quran highlights the importance of such relationships.
The Quran clearly mentions that a boy cannot marry his mother, his sister, his grandmother, aunt, niece, foster sister and mother, stepsister and mother, his daughter, his daughter in law, and foster girl.
As Allah has no restrictions regarding this, and He explicitly highlights these relationships, we cannot question it. Those who do not have a firm belief in Allah question these things.
Even medical science also proves it the chances of children developing defects from cousin marriages are negligible. Only one out of 1000 children born from cousin marriages has flaws.
Not only a child from a cousin marriage doesn’t need to have defects due to the marriage of cousins, but there are plenty of other reasons as well through which a child can be born abnormal.
Why Islam focuses more on cousin marriages? It is because cousins know each other well, and they respect each other due to family ties. On the other hand, when you try to find yourself a suitable mate, you may fail to do it because most of the time people can’t find their true mate because they find it hard to connect with each other.
How to make your cousin fall in love with you?
Having blood relations with someone always has some sort of attraction towards a person. That is why relationships with your cousins may get too deep so that you end up having romantic emotions about your cousins. So how to make cousin-love relationships a success?
- As a pioneering step towards building any relationship is creating ‘mutual interest.’ So you have to start building your relationship with your cousin by sorting out the interests you mutually share.
- You may think that you have nothing in common with your cousin, but for that, you have to make “Consistent contact & communication.”
- It is necessary to talk often so you can know more about each other. Always try to keep the conversation light at the beginning of the relationship so you may not get overboard.
- Whenever you have a chance to meet your cousin, always plan activities that you can do together in advance.
- Also, be flexible. Your cousin may not like everything you want, so you have to mold yourself into the things she likes to make a nice gesture.
- Always be gentle, and speak and act with respect. Because respect is the essential component in any relationship, you have to be very diligent in making jokes so that you may not even unintentionally hurt your cousin.
I fell in love with my cousin. How do I handle this?
It is okay to feel romantic towards your cousin. In some countries marrying or dating your cousin is still frowned upon. However, nothing that keeps you from being happy should be satisfied because the most loyal to you is you only.
If you and your cousin feel the same about each other, then there should be no harm in marrying and pursuing your emotions with your cousin. If your parents and people love you, they will come around and support you in your decision. If they don’t, it is apparent that they weren’t going to be there for you anyway.
Can you have a relationship with your cousin?
Your cousins are related to you by blood, and there is no harm in marrying one. However, in America, first-cousin marriages are banned in half of the states. Though, they do allow second-cousin marriages. So most of the time, marrying your cousin primarily depends on where you live and what sort of laws your country has!