Father Son relationship
The relationship of a father with his children starts right after birth. But as we know, fathers are more attracted and attached to their daughters; they may grow distant from their sons as they grow. However, the role of a father in a father-son relationship is as essential as water to the plants.
A good father plays a crucial role in developing his son’s life. He is responsible for teaching him life-long lessons and experiences which he may yet have to encounter, but his father can aid him by giving him valuable advice.
If you are a young dad, you explore how you can strengthen your relationship with your son, stick to this article, and explore the beautiful ways of understanding and developing this beautiful connection.
Father son relationship after divorce
People usually assume that raising a girl is easy, and sometimes it is true. Daughters are full of emotions, and they even interpret unsaid things. On the other hand, sons are different, and maintaining a healthy father-son relationship is even more difficult.
If you get divorced from your partner while your son is very young, things are a bit easier at that time. S you gently separate from your partner, your son will eventually erase the memory of you and your partner together. He will become used to his new life.
However, suppose you are unfortunate and are separating when your son can interpret and remember things. It will get difficult for you and your partner to realize the best way to fit in together in the picture which your son paints in his mind. Explaining the complexities and boundaries after separation without hurting his feelings is also very difficult.
Separating parents need to understand that their son does not ask them to be separated, it’s a mountain-like burden which you both are putting on him, and he didn’t even ask. In such situations, the child can do two things:
- He may overreact.
- He may become silent and does not respond to anything at all.
- Blend of the above two
All of the above behaviors are common to expect from a son of a separating couple. You are changing your children’s lives forever, and it’s his right to react in whatever way he wants.
What can you do?
- Both parents should sit together in front of their son, begin to communicate and let your son share his feelings with you.
- Assure him that you both will maintain a good bond and relation even after the separation.
- Your son may react a lot and may become moody that he may not listen to you at all. In such scenarios, you have to control your anger and try to empathize with your son.
- Guarantee him that you are going to spend equal time with your mother and father. Also, discuss routine father-son outings with him too.
- Also, if you don’t already have a strong bond with your son, things may get even more challenging after divorce. He may blame you and believe that you are the root cause of this divorce and separation. In such scenarios, do not tell your son about your break randomly. Instead, work on your relationship first, and when you believe it’s the right time, you should only explain to him about the divorce.
Father son relationship Importance
According to the studies, children are more confident and show greater control towards their lives, emotionally and physically available fathers. Besides, they also have outstanding academic performance and more inspiration for anything compared to children who are not gifted with the love and presence of a father. The following points highlight the importance of a father in the life of a son:
- As fathers are usually the financial supporters of the family, they explain their sons to be more robust and fierce in life.
- In the teenage years of a son, only their father can actually tell them about right and wrong.
- If a father takes good care of his family financially and emotionally, he gives his son a message to be like him for his kids.
- Suppose the father respects his wife, his daughter, and other female figures in his life. So he portrays an image of a gentleman in front of his son. So to learn how to respect women in his life.
Father son relationship problems
Therapists treating men have reached this conclusion over time that most of the problems men face regarding their family, career, and relationship issues can be caused by poor relationships in the past.
Most men experience this love-lacking feeling from their fathers, and they usually complain about their absence in their lives let it be physical or emotional. Therapists explain that all these longings in your past life will eventually affect your future life, and you may not know it.
The frustration and anger we keep buried deep down in our hearts usually surface up and spills down into our other relationships, principally romantic ones.
When one tries to heal from such horrible past experiences, one can quickly relocate to the heinous childhood experiences. These situations triggered all the negativity and ultimately built all the boiled-up emotions.
The problems we usually observe in a father-son relationship are:
- Polar opposite personalities: We usually assume that a son is a xerox copy of his father. However, it’s not always true, and the son may have a completely different personality and choices when compared to his father. In such scenarios, the father considers his child a disappointment, and they both may grow distant from each other.
- Separation or Divorce: It is the main contributing factor in the deterioration of the father-son bond. According to the studies, males who have divorced parents are more aggressive and have malfunctioned personalities. In such situations, sons usually blame their fathers for being responsible for their family’s destruction.
- Emotionally and physically absent fathers: When the fathers are not there for sons when they need them, they lose interest and respect for their fathers. Sometimes, even a father is physically there, but he is not emotionally invested in you. Such situations lead to trust issues, lack of responsibility in your son.
Father son relationship advice
There are several things that you and your son can do to strengthen up your bond. We may not realize it, but most of the son’s learning is done by his father’s actions. When you know that the importance and the impact of a father’s role are irreplaceable, you can only see the importance of strengthening your bond with your son.
Following are some pieces of advice from renowned therapists to make your relationship stronger with your son:
- Take out every opportunity to spend time with your son and make the most out of it. By giving them time, you are also communicating their importance and value over anything else.
- You can synchronize your interests and select one thing that you both really enjoy and then do together. It can be anything like music, sports, cooking or any other something which you both really love. Common hobbies help at better communication and propagation of ideas and opinions.
- Participate in your child’s academic projects. In this way, you are helping him out and giving him a message about the importance of education. In addition to school projects, you should also accompany your son in extra-curricular projects as well like building a tree-house, going on skiing, etc.
- Always listen to your son. By listening, we do not mean to listen only to the words he says, but also what he didn’t say. Some kids are not so expressive when it comes to expressing their emotions and ideas. Thereby, you have to be there for them to console them so they can easily open up to you.
What is the relationship between a father and a son?
The relationship between a father and son is not usually the most highlighted one, but it is there, and it is insanely beautiful yet complicated. Fathers mostly are not good at expressing their love and affection towards their sons as the sons grow up. But, the care and respect a father has for his son are unmatchable with any love in this world.
Why are father son relationships so complicated?
As we have mentioned in the earlier sections, a father is not too expressive of his feelings and emotions, and so is the son. Hence, the communication gap and the cold wall between a father and a son are the main issues.
When a father can explain himself to his son, and when the son also feels comfortable telling his father anything that is bothering him about life or any troubles he is facing. Then, they can work towards strengthening up their bond further.
Why is the father son relationship meaningful?
Just like a mother, a father plays a crucial role in developing his son too. A child needs both parents to grow appropriately and to survive in this world if a mother teaches love, warmth, and affection to his son. On the other hand, a father teaches him how to be strong, resilient, and challenging yet gentle. He teaches and prepares him for the outside world. Above all, a father plays a huge role in his son’s finances to have a better life.
How do I build a solid father son relationship?
You can easily do this from day one since your child’s birth. You have to be consistent and feel every bit of your son’s life to do this.
- Make physical contact with your son when he is young.
- Participate with him in his school activities.
- Make time for him and engage yourself with him in different activities like sports, music, etc.
- Do productive things with him to explain his life lessons, too, like telling him history and religious stories.
How to deal with a father son relationship?
- Identify your role in your son’s life and endorse it.
- Make peace with your child’s interests and opinions, and try to find what’s common among you.
- Don’t be afraid of your son’s adventures. He is growing, and adventures are a part of the process.
- Do more father-son time to indulge in more activities.
- Listen to your son profoundly and carefully.
- Always build the bridge between you and your son for effective communication.