A parent-child relationship is a gift from nature to humanity. This special bond lets the children enjoy security, love, affection, and parents understand what true love is.
It’s a bond that both parents and their children enjoy if it’s a healthy one. Now, it is crucial to understand that a fit parent-child relationship is vital for the effective development of the child’s personality.
Both parents have their roles in bringing up their children, and if they deny these responsibilities, their children are not going to end up as good human beings.
A healthy parent-child relationship means your kid will have a healthy brain, personality, and social life. As a result, he will feel confident and secure about himself wherever he will go. Mental stability and an excellent social life is an outcome of a healthy parent-child relationship.
Types of parent-child relationships
The parent-child relationship is affected by many things like parent’s age, their qualification, traumas of their past, what they do for their earnings. All these factors are ultimately going to shape up your relationship with your children. The different types of parent-child relationships in this regard are:
- Parents with authority: Authoritarian parents are all about rules and regulations. They always expect their children to do what they want them to do. Children raised in such households are moody, anxious, and have low self-confidence.
- Parents having coordinative authority: Such parents do have rules, but they are flexible about them. They believe that each child is different, so they listen to their opinions. Children having such parents are very confident and have high self-esteem.
- Passive parents: Such types of parents are terrible when it comes to upbringing. They cannot control their children, and though they have rules, they cannot make their children follow them. Such children are very reckless, selfless, and self-absorbed.
- Low engagement parents: Such parents do not demand anything, and they also do not pay heed to their children’s needs. Such children may feel distant not in the home but socially and can develop behavioral and social issues.
Characteristics of a parent-child relationship
The parent-child relationship is fascinating because it adapts itself as children grow. The parents are like those clothes to the children who can fit them all. Following are the characteristics of a healthy parent-child relationship:
- Healthy interactions provide warmth: Healthy parents take every interaction with their children to connect and strengthen their bond. Parents listen to their children’s needs, provide them with warmth, make them feel touched by continuous eye contact, and boost their confidence.
- Rules, boundaries, and limits: There are always some boundaries and limitations in a healthy parent-child relationship. Parents make their children understand that they need guidance and some structure to their lives, so rules are necessary to have some discipline.
- Listening: Listening is critical in all relationships. The parents who attend to their children build children with solid self-esteem and character. Parents who assure their children can rely on them and can be open about their feelings when they need to do that.
- Sharing and solving problems: Ideal parents are the role models of their children in problem-solving. Children learn from their parents how to behave in difficult situations.
Parent-child relationship problems
A child’s personality, habits, brain development, the ability to connect socially, and how they behave when they are alone mainly depend on their family structure and environment.
As we can acknowledge, we have seen a drastic increase in behavioral problems among children. Unfortunately, that means that families these days are facing difficult times when coping with stress and issues.
Therefore multiple parent-child relationship problems in children we see these days include:
- Social weakness: Children who cannot connect with people are usually facing so many issues at a personal level. Such children often are lonely, love to withdraw from all kinds of social activities. Anxiety, drugs, and suicidal thoughts are common among such children.
- Problems regarding rules: Children who lack discipline usually grow up into selfish human beings. Habits like restlessness, deceiving others, and aggressiveness are common among such children.
- Problems regarding education: Children who are in lousy parent-child relationships often end up bullying in academic environments. They are also bad at studies and grades. Such students have a fragile ability to learn.
- Conflicts among family: Parents who keep no structure in their family dynamics usually disagree with their children having a tight relationship.
- Overprotectiveness: Parents stepping too often in their child’s lives usually end up destroying their beautiful relationship. That is because their children think their parents won’t let them have freedom.
Ideal parent-child relationship
Any relationship is far from ideal, but the individuals in a relationship can make it perfect and flawless. In an ideal parent-child relationship, trust is the most crucial thing.
When you respect your child’s feelings, needs, and opinions, there is trust among both parties. When your children realize that they can open up to you about anything, there is no hiding and lies in such relationships.
Trust gives a sense of love, affection, warmth, and, most importantly, security. However, when your children grow up, the trust factor becomes a two-way thing. How can you develop respect and trust to have an ideal parent-child relationship:
- Always be available, no matter what. Remember, this thing starts right after your baby is born. It may seem challenging to manage, but in this way, your child will know that you are there when they need you.
- Make sure you fulfill your commitments and promises. When you develop such behavior, your children will acknowledge that you don’t lie and make excuses.
- Always respect the opinion of your children even when you disagree with them. In this way, you teach them how to accept criticism and build themselves into better people from healthy criticism.
- Constantly adapt to the changing requirements according to your relationship. The personalities of your children are not going to be the same, so parents have to become more flexible and adaptive.
Parent-child relationship activities
It is pretty accurate when you become a parent, your life changes. Everything in your life revolves around the little one, and you embark on a totally new journey. Being a parent, it’s not about you and your spouse anymore, and it’s about the child and his future.
Being a parent, most parents share a common goal: to raise our children as healthy, socially, and financially independent. The parent-child relationship casts significant and long-lasting effects on your children’s lives. So what can we do to strengthen up this relationship:
- Sleep together and tell them bedtime stories: Bedtime stories are one of the most prominent stories we remember from our childhoods. This trend must keep going on into our next generations because they make us learn more good lessons.
- Do outdoor dining: Believe me or not, if anything, making people come and sit together is “Food.” So take out time for dining with your children. Let them have that favorite pizza or burger which they want to have for a very long time.
- Encourage them while playing: While your kid is playing, it’s the best time to connect and bond with them. It’s nothing wrong to awaken the child in you sometimes. Let it be the dolls, toys, or any other thing.
Parent-child relationships as adults
There are tons of guides on the internet about parenting about toddlers and how to tackle the teen hormones, but no one told us about parenting when it comes to adults.
When children become adults, they usually do not open up much to their parents. So the thing is either you think children above 18 are adults or you don’t believe in this number, the adult children are facing and living in a much different world than ours.
The huge college debt, highly competitive job market, and the pressure of finding the right partner may make them cranky, and you may feel like they don’t need you anymore, but that’s just a phase.
How can you help your adult children to pass this phase?
- Continually identify and respect the difference of opinions with your children.
- Communicate your thoughts and experience with them without forcing them into it.
- Like normal children, adults also need to remain within certain boundaries. Both parents and adult children need to respect these boundaries.
- Always make efforts to connect and bond by doing things you always do to love.
- Be respectful about who your children want to be and make room in your family for them.
Parent-child relationship at work
According to studies, children growing in a family facing work conflicts will behave as badly as any other kid. But what’s the difference here is that the father will be more affected if he is facing work conflicts.
Suppose a father is going through a work and family conflict. In that case, the child will behave more poorly compared to a mother-work conflict. When it comes to mothers, it is different; mothers have a natural tendency to be better at parenting and organizing their feelings. But, on the other hand, fathers have this keen responsibility of earning while also maintaining a good relationship with the family.
The parent-child relationship between spouses
Sometimes we often acknowledge a parent-child relationship among the couples. This happens when one partner becomes the parent and the other starts to behave like a child. There are multiple factors why couples end up in such a relationship. But this relationship is not healthy and cannot continue for the long-term as it is unequal and can cause discomfort.
Mostly in south-Asian households, we see such relationships, the husband being the parent while the wife being the child when it comes to finances, and the wife becomes the parent and the husband becoming a child. This happens specifically when it comes to managing a household.
Both of the partners become dominant in their domains and end up becoming bossy and giving orders. This kind of attitude results in slavery and an unequal relationship.
Parent-child relationship communication
Communication is very crucial when it comes to relationships. However, remember there is a difference between communication and comprehension, and sometimes we need both.
Trust becomes the king of emotions here when it comes to communication. We know that if we want to develop a healthy relationship with our children or vice versa, we have to make them feel comfortable.
They will only feel comfortable if they know that you trust them and their opinions and choices. In this way, they will not end up finding external support in difficult times. They always come to the proper authority, which is you.
Trust and respect is a thing which has to be done by both parents and children. If children do not respect their parent’s choices and opinions, the situation can get worse. Make your children understand how to disagree on something gracefully.
Parent-child relationship facts
There are certain things you may not know about being a parent, and there can be some eye-opening facts about being a parent. So if you are becoming a one, read them well to become better at parenting:
- Being a parent is complicated and challenging.
- It is a responsibility and not a volunteer deed that you can do in your leisure time.
- There will be much more conflicts and fights than you have thought.
- Do not over-expect your children; they are just humans and not products.
- Growth changes everyone, including you and your relationship with your children.